10 Things New Moms Really Want!

Becoming a parent can be a roller-coaster for the first few days/weeks…how can you help a new mama…?
Here are my thoughts on what new mamas really want… If you have more ideas to add, please feel free to comment and let us all know ๐Ÿ™‚

Thanks for being here ๐Ÿ™‚

All love,
Angela. xxx

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34 thoughts on “10 Things New Moms Really Want!

  1. All great advice, Angela. As a mother of four, including twins, the best ways to help new parents are to provide food, do some shopping, put on a load of washing or do some sweeping/vacuuming. Visitors should be in an out quickly and in the early days not expect afternoon tea laid out.

  2. Loved it! I definitely agree that all 10 are great ways to help new Moms… even Moms who have just had a 2nd child… and on and on… even though her adjustment to having a new baby will (usually) be much easier with subsequent children… I personally was in immediate baby *bliss* the 2nd time around!!! But… I found the more challenging adjustments were in how my relationship with my first born changed due to the arrival of another little being joining our family. ๐Ÿ™‚ Having another child to care for while also having to care for a newborn is a HUGE challenge and adjustment… all the more the Mother needs HELP from her “Support System.” And I just have to say that tears came to my eyes when you talked about the need for positive comments… this was (and still is) something that is VERY appreciated on an ongoing basis for me personally. Sometimes it feels like we as the Mother are the only one who really knows what we’re doing and just how truly challenging our role can be at times. It’s ALWAYS nice to hear positive comments and be encouraged by them! I’m so glad you are doing this Vlog, Angela!!! It’s going to help so many women and families! Thank YOU!!!

  3. This is so encouraging to me! I am a mother of 4 children- 2 in college and 2 in high school ( I have home schooled them all ) and there is no greater calling than to be a mother / wife.
    I know being a new mom can be exhausting, but the older they become you will enjoy them more and more. You will get to see the fruits of your labor, and honestly I have enjoyed my children even in the teenage years – despite many people telling me I would hate my children as teenagers . Not so, it has been so fun. Honestly diet has an enormous impact on the attitudes of teens!
    I am excited to see where this goes – keep up the encouragement!

  4. Hi-The best thing an expecting mom can do, is brush her nipples with a soft brush about 6 weeks before the baby is due, if she plans on nursing. This prepares the nipples for the next step. One could use a make up brush or even a new soft toothbrush.

    • My mother was told to do this in the 70s. I could never bring myself to do it and dismissed it as an old wives tale, but in hindsight I wish I had!

  5. Thankyou Angela! I liked all of those things. I am also a Mama of four little ones, including a freshie and I think new Mamas also can always do with some witch hazel astringent or tincture. It shrinks the blood vessels and I always put a squirt of it on toilet paper after I’ve been to the loo or you can soak a pad in it and wear that if you prefer. Very good for shrinking hemorrhoids and tightening everything up around the vagina and perineum. Spirulina is great for energy for very tired Mamas too. I loved how you mentioned giving the Mum food and especially drinks when she sits down to breastfeed. Always make sure Mama has a glass of water at the very least. The meals for the family are such an amazing help, in particular as you have subsequent children. My kids are 6 and under and all of them have so many needs and if people can bring food for the kids it really helps. I often give new Mamas a box of organic fruit and veg because it’s so hard to get organised enough to have food readily available for your other children. I also loved how you said to come and visit and hold the baby or in my case play with the other children so I can focus on bubs, so helpful. Maybe people could offer to bring anything the family might need when they come to visit, to save Mum a trip to get food. Yes and so important to listen to Mama, such a blessed time and so much to process with each pregnancy and birth. Be aware that the family home is a sacred space with a newborn babe and be respectful of this. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Hi Angela. You have been a really amazing Mom and I feel so inspired by all you have done. I love your list of things. There is only one that I do not resonate with totally and that is people taking the baby away so the mama can rest. This is obviously sometimes amazing, and a little sleep can work total wonders, and of course everyone is really honoured to hold the new baby. But sometimes well-meaning people don’t always understand the mama baby bond, and can take the baby away – and not bring her back for ages… So I would only let very few and very special people take the baby while mama rests, and be very sure to pre-agree a time scale and to be sure mama can say when baby comes back. I am sure you meant this, but just wanted to bring in a note of caution. I did learn very early to curl up around baby and sleep when baby sleeps.

  7. wow what a lovely post – you are a beautiful person, and would have greatly appreciated all that you recommended – even though i had a wonderful man to help…. you are in such a bubble when baby comes that lookig outside can be a challenge? can i ask – is Oria still feeding a lot through the night? Oron- my son is 10 months and seems to wake a lot during the night to feed – he sleeps next to me so no biggy but i would like a bit more sleep.

    Thank You.
    xx

  8. Hi Angela , I am really loving your new website and believe that this project is really important for womankind everywhere. I am going to be a new Mom in June and I can’t tell you how amazing I am already finding your site with your great support and advice. I have been thinking of trying to create a list of everything I will need for the the baby during those first few months any advice here? Thanks again your work is powerful. X

  9. I love your ideas: rest, help, food, support, service. I found the best way to serve a family with a new baby is to just SEE what needs to be done and do it. Does the floors need cleaning? Knock on the door as say, I’m hear to clean your floors. Don’t tell me no; go lay down with baby. Then do it and leave. Then come back another time with food, baby blankets, breast feeding helps, to listen, or to spend time in toddler activities.

    By the time number 3 (we have 5+2) arrived, we quit letting our mothers come. Maybe it was a different generation, but they were negative about everything we did as parents from breastfeeding to co-sleeping. Their help was marginal at best; they seemed to only be there to hold the new baby and not cook, clean, wash clothes, and so forth. #3 was our first home birth and first VBAC. Since we didn’t want their grief, we told them he was due a month later and never discussed the home birth.

    Anyway…I love your new blog and wish there had been something out there for earth mama types 30 years ago. I had to find my own way.

  10. Angela,
    I am not a new mom but am doing healing work around my own birth story. I am experiencing more healing from this video as you share about attuning to your little one’s needs. Just being able to share this is so useful to get how important it is to the whole family system. And that if you did’t have the optimal situation it is never to late to change that. Thank you for your honesty and realness as you continue to share your experiences with us. Looking forward to opening and being touched in unknown ways as I continue on my journey watching glow with grace.

  11. Great vedio. I had 4 children and I breast fed them. It was very hard at times. It was so helpful when people would come by and help. And each baby was differnt. My last child never wanted to be put down. He would cry every time I would put him down. So yes you have mentioned some great things that are very helpful… ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. Someone else mentioned the same above… I too got tears in my eyes when you talked about positive comments for the mom. Thank you for sharing this.

  13. I felt exactly as you described in the beginning! I was so tired that I couldn’t think about doing anything by myself but taking care of my son… And my family was always๏ปฟ asking about my milk supply.. if it was still enough for the baby… putting pressure and making me feel depressed… If I really had believed in them, I could have stopped breastfeeding and my son that now is 10months and half wouldn’t have been breastfed until now :(. I wish I had received more suport like you described โค Love your way of thinking; it's always very similar with my way of seeing the life <3๏ปฟ Thank you so very much for your message!

    • It still astonishes me how people are going on about breastfeeding and “is your supply enough” rubbish. Actually it gets me pretty heated up and ready for a debate with such people. Who in general are just uninformed. lol.

      well done for sticking to it! i almost got it right with #2. #3 is now 5months old and going strong! stuff it to society and their pressures ๐Ÿ˜€

      • Nicolette, are you saying that all mothers have enough milk supply? This is not true. There are mothers with insufficient glandular tissue who cannot provide for their baby’s needs. These mamas eat galactagogues foods, take herbs (fenugreek, more milk plus, moringa, leptaden, etc), take meds (reglan or domperidone), feed with a supplemental nursing system (SNS), and/or pump after every feeding, even thru the night…all for a mere few ounces. Some produce 1 oz a day, some 18 oz despite their efforts to keep building up. Some may have hypoplastic breasts, PCOS, thyroid issues, or breast augmentation/reduction… which affect milk supply, but there are mamas without these issues, too. And, they have insufficient glandular tissue (IGT). There is currently no medical or natural solution to this…if there are, there are many mamas on the IGT FB page that want to know. Sorry, I felt the need to say this… as a self-diagnosed IGT mama myself. This is not my video, but does express very well how IGT mamas may feel: http://www.confessionsofadrmom.com/2012/09/to-all-the-mothers-who-struggled-with-breastfeeding/

      • I am sorry, It was not my intention to offend. I was just saying that the larger percentage of woman could do with support in their chosen option to breastfeed. I know very well some woman are just unable to. It is in my experience that the “majority” of woman are getting the “is your supply enough” questions from family, friends and even strangers because of social “brainwashing”. but it is good to see that lately people are getting out there to bring education to this situation. I also understand how these woman feel who were unable to breastfeed their babies, and the guilt that goes along with it. It is a very emotional topic.

      • No problem. I think 5% of women have this problem… that is 5% of women who want to breastfeed. But, yes, I do see a growing number of women who are breastfeeding… oh, the benefits. ๐Ÿ™‚ I am just thankful that these mamas also choose to donate their liquid gold…

      • There is an emotional aspect to breast feeding that we rarely touch upon. It took me 3 months to realize I could summon my milk on demand. I believe all mothers can do this, regardless of their medical diagnosis. Our creator created the most perfect creation when me made us. It is up to us to understand this and follow through appropriately. Many times during my breast feeding challanges I would get awful comments.. Baby is not satisfied, you should supplement, your breasts are too small, are you sure you have milk… After observing this behavior in the women who made these comments, I soon realized that they all had one thing in common. They did not nurse their own children and they so desperately wanted to hold and feed my baby. Our subconscious is sometimes more controlling than we can ever imagine. Through all this we need to stay strong, follow our own instinct and as Angela says, glow with grace. Two plus years later I still have milk!

  14. Very insightful, thank you! From everything you guys have shared with us on your journey with Oria, I think you and Matt are amazing! A leader, for sure, in the “unconventional” ways of parenting. It’s nice to hear, first hand, from a mom that isn’t afraid to step outside of the box and nurture their baby in a way that feels right to them instead of what feels right to society! Thanks again!! โค

  15. Great tips Angela. Had my kids in 70’s a single Mom 2 kids 10 yrs. apart. Home birth and kool clinic birth where my sweetie caught it a sister friend helped w breathing. 4 1/2 hrs later a boy. All well. I was Vegetarian unconventional in diet and lifestyle.
    Had my other son in Rudolf Steiners Waldorf school, a Spirtual/Scientist you might say. So he was, his teacher, my biggest help. BIRTH CONCEPTION AND EARLY CHILDHOOD were great info.
    Also he talked about was covering the head of a child . Said psychic energy enters thru the top of the head and it protected them.
    And that most mammals kept their babies in the dark…til the babies could crawl out…so keeping them a curtained dark quiet space was good.
    Like kernals of grain are hardened in the elements of nature.
    Mine baby son had a hat on his head for the 1st 2 1/2 yrs. I became a lil “Hatter”! Cotton velvet knitted silk & wool !!!! And his soft spot took…was it 1 or 1 1/2 yrs. To close

  16. very lovely video and so true, every bit of it.

    birth trauma and birth “type” disappointment is very real. for instance my first i planned a home birth, i booked the birthing pool and everything!. landed up being “scared out of my socks” by the dr who my midwife referred me to for a breech baby. a csection later and months of dealing with how it all went. its all very well saying you have a healthy baby to show, yes. but it is also a transition into motherhood, and it was not very smooth or magical. sometimes it helps to talk to someone.

    i’m very glad you have found the inspiration to make these videos and help some new mothers and even some already mothers, be better people and well, mothers. lotsa โค your way. Nicci

  17. Thank you for your suggestion to be an ear for the new mom, especially in regards to her birth story. Iโ€™ve had 3 unassisted births and I desperately wanted to share things (physical, mental, emotional) that I experienced but had a very lonely time of it. Even those who were open to my choice to freebirth were very uncomfortable talking with me about it; less supportive people were just plain rude. I would have done anything to be able to share my birth experiences like those who had more โ€œconventionalโ€ births.

  18. Thanks Angela for sharing your thoughts! Being a mom of seven, I have never had a doula, and had two vaginal birth with meds at the hospital, one without meds at the hospital, three C-Section, and one birth at home on my own.
    Last year’s birth was really encouraging yet I do believe that I wish birthing moms would hear words of encouragement and edification a LOT more, I think this would really help them, if the bond is open, if the doula, the helper, the friend, the husband or companion is deeply caring and encouraging.
    From my own experience, I look back and would have changed so many things, and although it wouldn’t have occurred to me to to have a doula, I do believe this is a great way to encourage moms, even moms that have had many babies (such as 3+) because we so still learn, and some of us are so engrained in the conventional ways that we are not been taught/trained to see there are other ways to make our lives easier and more at peace with the whole process.

    I was sexually violated in my childhood so having a doula would have been very scary for me, because it’s intimacy I would have not want to trust/share, this is why I hated all the nurse touching me, telling me how to birth, how to put my legs, to lay down when I felt like standing or male docs having to be too close to my private parts. ๐Ÿ™‚

    My last birth was also successful I believe because I was able to be in my own comfort, and my sexuality was not violated, I had with me whom I believed I could trust.
    If women can trust, having a loving human being helping is/would be so necessary.

    I also believe that your 15 mn sleep comment is Xtremely important to understand and provide to new moms and practiced moms.

    The hormonal change you spoke of was for me something really hard. Nobody explained anything to me besides that it’s normal. I was advised to take meds after birth because I cried and cried (C/S). I was advised to have meds because I was a first mom, I was advise for meds because my second birth was hard.
    Not once was I taught/trained how the hormones are affecting me or why they do so, or how the food or lack thereof can also affect me. (such as eating constant cooked food)

    I learned all about this in the year of 2011 for my pregnancy. Can you imagine, carrying 7 children and never did I knew that? I’m so glad I stood up to my doctors and decided to educate myself instead of being an “obedient” girl.
    It’s not like I didn’t have people around or what not, but truth is, conventional thinking and following the rules of going only one way can truly lead us to ignorance. Soooo many moms in my situations, sooooo many! Ignorance truly kills.

    It can really mess a mom up NOT to know, it can mess her relationships as well, and also disconnect her to her own baby from all the stress. I already teach my 16 years old about these things as she experiences her own time changes throughout the months, or when my last born (14 months old) experiences changes, I take the time to teach and explain how to embrace it. I feel sad to confess that it took me my seventh child to understand and embrace all this, but prior to that, I had always learn to go through it with anxieties, disconnection, anger some times, depression rather than joy to go through these times that I will never get back.

    Thanks again Angela for your video. I am looking forward someday to hear you share perhalps if you are lead, how you would have made your pregnancy different and the birth and the following year from all you have already learned. I know for my part, if I would have known I would NOT have died after 3 C/S, I might not have stressed out so much. ๐Ÿ™‚ Also, that I would not have shared with others my plan because I had received a lot of negative and condescending comments, which lead me to recoil and hide myself, but still. Not something I would do again.

    Thank you SO much for sharing your learning experience Angela! It truly will help heal others, teach others, give encouragements, and also bring peace for those that wish they could have done it but now can help others by bringing them a different perspective.

    Blessings ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. Hi Angela,

    Thank you! I am a new Mum to a 5 month old and this is great advice.

    On a separate note. You are glowing, you look beautiful and gracious. So great name for your channel! You are inspiring.

    Love and peace,

    Katie

  20. Hello Angela,
    I’m so glad you’ve started this new channel! I am a mother of two boys, the oldest being 2 and the newest just 5 months old. I’ve gotten into a sort of rhythm now with the second child, but you’re right, the first year of new motherhood was a HUGE challenge on so many levels. I look forward to hearing about how you dealt with certain issues, and in particular I’m interested in learning more about NVC and how you use it with Oria. The one thing I’ve struggled with in general since becoming a parent is “the guilt”. Never in my life have I had to question everything I do or think and say, and wonder if what I’m doing/thinking/saying is right/wrong, good/bad, helpful/hindering and so on. I know I haven’t and don’t always behave or respond with grace when I’ve been severely sleep deprived, or when I’ve been on my own with the kids for night and day because my husband is working so much. I’d like to know what advice you can give in regards to this and how the NVC plays a part in it.
    Thanks so much Angela. God bless!

    Michelle

  21. Beautiful video Angela. Well thought out 10 points. I was a new mom 35 yrs ago; yet It is so good to be reminded of what could be helpful to a new mom. I love the emotion that you put into your presentation: I think your sharing your information with such an open heart may help anyone who has not been a mother yet to get some grasp of how challenging it is.
    Just a small tiny suggestion: Your message is even more powerful when you glance straight into the camera, which you do only momentarily a few times in the clip. I would love to see a clip with you looking straight into the camera (and thus at us) while you present your material. I can imagine that it would be even more beautiful if you could manage to look into the camera without wearing your glasses. Of course you need them when you refer to your notes, but you certainly have an ability to speak without being note bound. You only referred to your notes for each new point. May I suggest you try a practice run to see how looking into the camera looks to you in comparison to watching your image on the monitor as you speak. I know it will be more challenging to speak without seeing what you look like, but if the presentation is more effective, it will be worth the effort. If such a shift is too challenging, no worries, I am sure all your viewers will love your message anyway, just as I have. What a gift you give to new mom’s and their friends. Just beautiful. Thanks so much.

  22. If you can afford it, hire other women to assist with different chores around the house and with babysitting so you can have some time with your husband or time alone for rest and relaxation. Otherwise, you will be doing all the work as much as possible and your sleep will be at the same time that Oria sleeps.

  23. I nursed my son until he was 3 years old and he is so healthy and extremely smart (16 now) and he only got sick when he was a tot but nothing major and those were few between. I love how your so natural and wear no makeup, at least if you do I can’t see it, so you look amazing! What do you plan to do when it’s time for school for the baby ( i know that’s a few years away but time flys) . Home school or public? Both of my kids went to public schools (husband’s demand) but if it were up to me I would have kept them both home, I love having them with me. I always cringed when I here other mothers say they can’t wait for school to get rid of the kids, but not me! Do you have anywhere to see what you are eating on a day to day basis? I’m not raw, but I do have raw green smoothies from time to time because my body screams for living foods sometimes, and it’s not easy getting quality fresh produce where I live, in the north, so I do what I can.
    Best to you all!

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